The Transcontinental Penguin Super Show

It's that time again…no Billy, not for your daily enema, it's time for The Transcontinental Penguin Super Show. We may not hurt as bad, but we promise by the time your done, your ass will bleed just as much. In the epic pop culture world, Mike and Chris both discuss their views on the new Transformers and Harry Potter movies. Amongst the rambling and possibly good/bad Ron Weasley impressions, Mike tossed out the contest. Send us an email and the best two for good and bad will receive an official pen. Next, in the news, Will It Blend strikes again and this time its at the core of Apple…..get it? Core? Apple? Anyways, it seems yes, an iPhone will indeed blend. More HP news with the release of the tragic next chapter, Harry Potter and The Melting Animal Flesh Pink Dancing Elephant God My Body is Cold No WAIT I'm Really Hot, also known as ecstasy. Thieves and counterfeit money, but stealing from little children is, well, hilarious as this story shows with Lemonade scent. FYI to the sexual predators out there, cut off your feet so you are smaller and then you won't go to jail because of the precedent set by this judge. ROCK PAPER SCISSORS…..WORST IDEA EVER ON ESPN? You watch and decide. Left it to starving dying African children to use their laptops to search for porn. More Nintendo Wii news concerning it's record breaking existence as it brings another start title, Mario Kart, to it's resume. And Sony still sucks. Transformers are indeed more than meets the eye, but don't record them at all, not even for 20 seconds cause you will go to jail, unless you are a cute Asian chick. Watch for the sequels already in progress. Welcome back to Kevin Spacey for the next Superman movie. Finally, we have WTF is Wrong With Japanese People and here for This Week in Hiro. Masi Oka was nominated for an Emmy! Good for him! We all hope he wins. Lastly, for this next story, go watch the Matrix and then read it…..robots….we keep telling you….but you don't listen…..

iPhone Will it Blend?

"Harry Potter" Ecstasy Pills

Who Would Rob a Kid's Lemonade Stand?

5 Foot 1 Sexual Predator does not get jail time…

Sports

ESPN televises Rock Paper Scissors

Tech

Kids use donated laptops to surf porn

Gaming

Mario Kart Wii In 2007

Wii sales hit 9 million worldwide - just one million behind Xbox360

Xbox Division Posts $1.9 Billion Operating Loss for Fiscal 2007

Movies

Decepticons ruin womans life. Autobots have no Comment.

Two 'Transformers' sequels in pipeline

Kevin Spacey will return as Lex Luthor in “Superman: Man of Steel”

This Week In Hiro

Hiro Nakamura Nominated for an Emmy

What the fuck is wrong with, Asians?

2008 Olympics in the Sun: Rockets to Disperse Rain Clouds

Episode 45: We lead a weekend men's group. We specialize in ritual Penguin killings. [58:27m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (5986)

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Episode 44: The Champ Has Fallen….

Saturday, July 7th, 2007

Welcome one and all to The Transcontinental Penguin Super Show on this special occasion. We have reached yet another July 4th and you know what that means….Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Competition. Never in the event's history has this contest been so anticipated. In a stunning competition at Coney Island, the title of the Mustard Belt was brought home to the USA after a 6 year reign of the champ Takeru Kobayashi. News stories reported Kobayashi had his wisdom teeth taken out as well as suffered from jaw injury, but the champ showed no sign of that as he took on the number 2 ranked eater in the world, Joey Chestnut. Last month at a qualifier, Chestnut set a new world record shattering the previous held by Kobayashi. He was able to eat 59 1/2 HDBs - Hot Dogs and Buns - in 12 minutes. It was that of gladiators. The two stood side by side for the ultimate hot dog showdown. Chestnut took an early lead, but the gap was soon closed by Kobayashi. Neck and neck down the stretch until the final moments when Chestnut was able to muster the courage to down the remaining dogs. The champ? Well, he had an unfortunate "Reversal of Fortune" and lost a dog or two which only sealed the victory for Chestnut. The final total was 66 HDBs in 12 minutes! Not to be scoffed at was Kobayashi's personal best record of 63. What does this mean for the world of competitive eating? It means a new force to be reckoned with has finally taken the helm. Kobayashi will be back as any great champion does when they fall. Ultimately it's not about the record, but winning the competition. In an effort to try and see his own potential, Mike put on his own mini contest. The challenge was to eat 8 in 10 minutes. It wasn't that simple as you will see for yourselves. But this will not stop Mike and his ultimate goal of actually joining the competition next year. In other penguin news, if you aren't hungry for HDBs, the perhaps McDs. Watch this Iron Chef clip and decide for yourself if it was an accident or subliminal ad. Remember the last you thing you want in your town is illegal sex in bathrooms. Next time you get your mail, make sure all your Netflix and Blockbuster movies are there and if not than notify the post office like this guy did. And you thought penguins were scary, beware of those killer vampire peacocks. In a world where everything is for sale, such is the cost of schooling. Well this British chick found a way to get both of what she needed, money and lose her virginity for a price…..Hackers R Us, people are really running out of business names we guess. In the gaming world, predators can exist just as in the um….digital world? An Australian woman nearly got herself a very epic drop…a 17 year old boy. Brain game pulled for it's offensive spastic word….sorry to retards everywhere. In news that really doesn't surprise anyone, Wii still outselling the PS3 6-1 in Japan. Finally in this week's WTF is Wrong With Japanese People, more game shows as always. This time we see what would happen would happen if people tried to play Tetris. Watch Mike's video and let us know what you think! Grats to Joey Chestnut on his win and we look forward to the next series of competitions.

Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest 2007 Part 1 Part 2

"Inside Edition" Subliminal McDonalds Ad Busted

Fort Lauderdale mayor says $250K robotic toilet may put stop to 'illegal sex'

Postal Worker Steals Thousands Of DVDs from Netflix

Man Beats Peacock to Death Because He Thought it was a Vampire

Virginity For Sale - Offers start at £10,000

Cops Who Started 'Hackers Are Us' Service Convicted

Gaming

World of Warcraft Pedophile

Brain game pulled over 'offense'

And What is the 'offense'?

Wii demand still outpaces supply

Wii outsells PS3 in Japan 6 to 1

Japanese

Tetris

Hot Dog Drama: Japanese Champ Will Compete with Injury to Honor His Mother

Hot-dog eating champs go eye to eye

Joey Chestnut Beats HDB Record: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (258)

Episode 44: The Champ Has Fallen…. [54:59m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (5879)

Mike's Hot Dog Eating Challenge [254:30m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (242)

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Episode 43: Penguin Mass Suicide

Friday, June 15th, 2007

Look but don't touch The Transcontinental Penguin Super Show. Sometimes, a little swearing is really what makes this country go around, and of course buy a frothy ice cold case of Bud Light. On a serious and sad note, we pay our respects to Mr Wizard and his family. He was a very large influential part of many children's lives growing up and we would like to thank him for everything. Now if we've told you once, well then we would have only told you once, but stop pissing off Sudan before they take off the world's supply of gum arabic….one of the main ingredients in soft drinks like Coca-Cola. Notice less penis enlarging emails? That's because the "Spam King" was arrested for his business. Google is officially buying out Feedburner for $100 million! Google's next purchase you ask? The sun. And just when you thought science and crazys couldn't get worse, it was discovered that the Pentagon was researching a bomb device that would turn enemy soldiers gay. Ya know, we could have saved a lot of time with that as we already have something that will cause that affect; it's called Tom Cruise. Like TMNT, the Thundercats movie will be CGI and not live action…for shame. Also, the talks of a new He-Man movie are out there. No word on whether Dolph Lungren will reprise his role. Ever wondered the origin of the now over $800 million dollar Spidey Black Suit idea? Would you believe a wacko sold it for $220 25 years ago? Read up and find out. More more more Kobayashi all the time in this week's WTF is Wrong With Japanese People. We find our champion beaten and fallen, but not out of the fight. Mad props to Joey Chestnut and his new world record for hot dogs. Joes is ranked 2nd in the world of competitive eating and has trailed Kobayashi for years. Despite his new record, he is not the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating champion. That competition will still be on July 4th as always. How will Kobayashi answer the call of this challenge? If it was anime, it might look something like the SNL TV Fun House video we have, Dragonball Z style! Yet another robot story from Japan. This time, it will dance on it's own to iPod music. They will regret it someday, and on that day, we will say we told you so. If you are afraid, be pro-active like the guy that created a hot water heater out of beer bottles. Way to go!

Budlight Swear Jar Commercial

Television's 'Mr. Wizard' dies at 89

Sudan Threatens To Cut Off The World's Supply Of Coca-Cola

"Spam King" Arrested in Seattle

Confirmed: Google paying $100mil for Feedburner

Make love, not war: Pentagon considered bomb to turn enemy soldiers gay

Movies

The Thundercats Movie will be Computer-Generated not Live-Action

New He-Man movie announced

Fan Sold Idea for Black Spider-Man Suit for $220 in 1982

Japanese

Ricky Bobby Kobayashi

Man Breaks Kobayashi's Hotdog Eating Record - Eats 59 Hotdogs in 12 minutes

Why Are There So Many Suicides in Japan?

Kobayashi Ball Z

Japanese Robot Dances to iPod

Family Guy - Japanese Girls think everything small is cute

Beer + Sunshine = Hot Water (Chinese)

Episode 43: [50:57m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (5711)

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Episode 40: “Those Sick Bastards took my pants”

Friday, May 4th, 2007

After a lengthy captivity and torture, Mike finally returned from his exile in the Land of the Rising Sun…..and lowering school girl panties….Here this and more in the 40th installment of the Transcontinental Penguin Super Show. With so much material, we dove right into some more of our staple, Mr. Kobayashi and friends. The I.F.O.C.E. or International Federation of Competitive Eating is the professional front of the eating world. Check out some clips and bio’s of the superstars. In a related story, I think the chili eating guy from Mexico should earn a ranking. Folks, when you need your PC fixed, please just call us because we promise to not video tape your daughter in the shower like Geek Squad. Of course, if they had this next girl, they wouldn’t have gotten caught because she posted naked pics of herself…at 15! Leave it to the government and Microsoft to get a kid arrested for 12 days thanks to the day light savings update. Yet again, parent of the year award goes to Rian Whittman and his 100,000 volt stun gun to his 18 month old! You’d be surprised at how many boob stories we have this week as if we were frat guys or something. This Week in Hiro, Heroes only has 3 new episodes to save the world. In the mean time, check out Nathan’s campaign web site. Finally we have had dumb Japs in the past, but nothing like this in our WTF is Wrong With Japanese People. Innocent women tricked into buying poodles that were actually disguised sheep. Nice. We here at The Transcontinental Penguin Super Show offer our deepest condolences to the families of the victims from the Virginia Tech tragedy.

Stupid Shit

International Federation of Competitive Eating

Mexican Seeks World Chili-Eating Record

Geek Squad Sued For Videoing Customer In Shower

15-Year-Old Girl Charged with Sexually Abusing Herself

Daylight Savings Time Puts Kid in Jail for 12 Days

Dad Accused of Using 100,000-Volt Stun Gun on Baby

Adjustable Breast Implants for the Indecisive

Woman ties up her Valentine’s date and drinks his blood

Stem Cells Key to Bigger Boobies

Iran leader says his scientists have created a cure for AIDS

Illegally Smuggled Dinosaur Eggs Worth $420,000 Seized By Customs

Gang rape of 11-year-old girl taped on cell phone

‘Global Warming Worries Keeps Children Awake At Night’…

Windows deployment in UK warships

Movies

Sam Raimi Confirms "Spider-Man" 4, 5, 6

CONFIRMED Ghostbusters 3 - Aykroyd and Murray on board!

Batman Sighting Puts Schools on Lockdown

Television

CBS Zombie Pilot

Walmart Launching CableTV Show

Gaming

Action video games make your eyesight better

Four Wii units sold for every PlayStation 3 in Japan

22 Month Old Baby Rocks at Wii Sports

Nintendo DS Shaped Cake

RUMOR Sega Saturn games coming to VC?

Tech

Vonage Wins Permanent Stay in Verizon Patent Litigation

Time Warner Cable Fined $25,000 For Consistently Awful Service

Gates “dares anybody” to exploit Vista

Bill Gates: Vista is so secure it could run life support systems

This Week In Hiro

Heroes: A hidden Star Trek reference!

I’m Nathan Petrelli and I’m Running For Congress

Japanese

Japanese Women Conned Into Buying Sheep They Thought Were Poodles.

Episode 40: "Those Sick Bastards took my pants" [50:19m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (5681)

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Episode 38: We Put Them Penguins on Rock Rock

Friday, February 2nd, 2007

World record holding The Transcontinental Penguin Super Show here to hit you square in the eye and then eat your dog before you can see it brings you yet another cool episode of wacky stuff that you can’t believe this is such a long ass sentence for us to put at the beginning of the show notes but totally feel justified in doing so as a direct result of all the mega hella awesomely cool material for all of the fantastic Transcontinental Penguin Super Show fans and listeners to behold with their fore mentioned eyes that we are about to hit them in…..*GASP FOR AIR*……We have so much material today that we are going to do the short short version…..Mother teaches son sex ed with her own body, real life samurai aids police with bad guys, Wii can kill you if you drink too much water just ask the lady from the radio contest, if you are 29 and molest children please do not pretend to be 12 and enroll in grammar school, stupid crooks and GPS units, Wal-Mart creates own power company, VISTA!!!!!!!!!! Holy shoot!! WORLD OF WARCRAFT: THE BURNING CRUSADE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn, this really was an easy one today. Oh ya, WTF is Wrong with Japanese People was here too with Japan scrapping 10 year old moon mission and of course what kids should have life sized Gundam figures to assemble around the dinner table. Of course, maybe they could get a PS3 now that the price came down in Japan a bit….cough…cough….In case you are wondering, 2.4 million units of TBC were sold in a 24 hour period. Have a great listen and catch ya’ll next trip

Stupid Shit

Mother teaches sex education to her son using her own body

Real-life samurai superhero saves police

Woman Killed In Wii-Related Competition

'12-year-old' is 29-year-old sex offender

Thieves jack 14 GPS devices, forget to turn them off

Wal-Mart Creates Its Own Electricity Company, Eyes Wind Power

Microsoft Windows Vista Ultimate Limited Numbered Signature Edition.. Yes really..

Tech

Battle of the operating systems

Farewell To the Floppy Disk

NYC 911 to add Camera phone support

Get A Mac: surgery, sabotage, and tech support

Man's cell phone ignites in pocket, causing serious burns

MySpace to offer spyware for parents

Pentium 4 631 Overclocked to 8 GHz

Gaming

Developer: The Wii-Mote Can Do More, WAY MORE

Times look at WoW

WoW Burning Crusade Sells 2.4 MILLION In 24 Hours

How you'll play Mortal Kombat on Wii

The New, New Wii Strap

Price Drops of PS3 in Japan

Japanese

Japan scrapping their moon mission

Tons of Pictures of Life Size Gundam Model Being Assembled by Maru Family

Episode 38: We Put Them Penguins on Rock Rock [59:29m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (5866)

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Episode 37: Mike Loves Zelda

Friday, January 12th, 2007

On this action packed adventure with The Transcontinental Penguin Super Show you should really remember to wear a jacket…..Kind of a shorter show for you this week so let's go. Road rage can be a good thing sometimes, but only when you are attacking the right person. This week's shout out goes to the drunken teenager ramming what he thought to be his girlfriend's car because she didn't give him a goodbye kiss. FYI - it was a random stranger. Update on the horrible parents that let the dog eat their babies toes. It was actually the ferret! They might actually get the child back, too. God the system sucks. Like Mario? And penguins? And dancing to Outkast? Watch this wacky video. In other much cooler videos, check out the new Transformers movie teaser. Only 6 months to go! Also, another epic returns to the silver screen soon as Indiana Jones 4 is finalized and shooting begins this year. CES and MacWorld are here and that means tech gadgets a gogo. Most noteable is the new iPhone from Apple. It is a cell phone iPod hybrid which runs Mac apps, games, movies, all that jazz, but wait…..Cisco already pattened the name. D'oh! Way to be an ass Steve Jobs. This week, Mike brings to you the first Transcontinental Nintendo Wii Review. To some it all up, it was freaking awesome. Creator of Scooby Doo dies, but more importantly, he was from Japan!!!! WTF is Wrong With Japanese People we say goodbye to Iwao Takamoto and thanks for the doo! Feeling down? How about the world's largest Japanese hoedown? YEEHAWWWW, DOMO! This week in Hiro, Masi Oka sits down and talks all about the second half of the Hereos season. Should be filled with lots of Hiro awesomeness including a new love interest, more with homo gay dad George Takei and the sword!!! Also, look for episode 12 to reveal the dinosaur! On this note, have a fun filled time and don't forget about the contest!!! Email us whether you believe Mike's impression was that of Jimmy Stuart or Barney Fife and we will mail you ….. A PEN!!! I gotta have more cowbell!!!!

Stupid Shit

Teenage boy doesn't get a goodnight kiss, rams his car into the wrong girl

The Ferret Did it.

Penguin Dance Featuring Super Mario Brothers

Movies

Transformers Teaser

4th Indiana Jones film has been finalized

Tech

The Apple iPhone

Apple now sued over iPhone name - As if we didn't see this coming!

Japanese

Scooby-Doo Creator Dies

Japanese Cowboy Hoedown

This Week in Hiro…

Second Half of Season Hiro

Episode 37: [56:42m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (5912)

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Episode 36: Happy Penguin New Year (Audio Version)

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007

Welcome everyone to the very first video edition of The Transcontinental Penguin Super Show.We have been plotting this for a long time and decided it was time to do it. This was definitely uber fun and expect to see another one at some point, locations and time pending. So much content, so little time, but hey….there's video! Since the normal progression of the show is disturbed, we trust that you will click all the links and check out everything. Think of it like a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book. Let's get to it. For all the computer people out there, and you should be if you listen to this show, watch the total noob try to sell this PC. FYI, he is the same guy that stabbed himself when he snapped a katana in half. Remember that when in Russia, naked women on the side of the street = stolen car and goods. Anyone surprised that the HD DVD encryption is already cracked? At this point if you are bored, take a minute to make up something and file a law suit against Apple, everyone else. Car + Windows = Future Record Breaking Car Accident. Could China have any more phone users? Perhaps the WarGames movie sequel will address this. In the gaming world, check out the two already modded Wii videos, one is a Roomba control and the other Wii Bowling on a movie screen. Marvel at the horror and people's stupidity in the Wii Injuries story. Nintendo's world domination continues with the sale of 35 million DS units worldwide. On the flip side, Sony is finally wanting to be white. Sony also "claims" the PS3 kiosks freeze on purpose, but we think we all know the truth behind that garbage. Sony, you have earned yourself a giant ROFL. In this week's Shout Outs we give a big shout to UPS employees that diverted $19,000 in PS3 units for their own personal gain. Lastly, the teens of America that can't drive worth of shit now have an excuse, the video game industry must be to blame……or just perhaps teens can't drive worth of shit. Last but certainly not least, we have for you the very first WTF is Wrong With Japanese People of 2k7!!! W00T! Ah the Japanese and their game shows. Watch these two bizarre showings; dough kneading and doggie bacon face stacking????? Thanks to tight living quarters, this woman went to jail for annoying her neighbor. One down, eleventy billion to go! HAPPY NEW YEAR our penguin brethren!

Video Available in iPod, Windows Media, and on Google Video

Horrible Computer Sale Guy QVC

Samurai Sword screw up on QVC

Beware Hot Naked Girls Robbing People in Moscow

Tech

HD DVD Encryption Hacked!

Apple gets the shit sued out of them!

Ford and Microsoft Partner on Automotive OS

China has 830 million phone users, 132 million online

Movies

WarGames Sequel Now Filming

Gaming

WiiRoomba

Wii Bowling Super-Sized

THE WII DEVILS

Wii Injuries (with pics and stories)

Nintendo's DS passes the 35 million mark worldwide

White PS3 is as special as you are. Maybe more special.

PlayStation 3 kiosks freezing up … on purpose!

PS3 bandits busted for $19,000 in "diverted" UPS shipments

Video games blamed for teens who suck at driving!

Japanese

Japanese Dough Kneading Gameshow

Japanese Dog Bacon Stacking Gameshow

Woman Gets 20-Months in Prison for Loud Music

Episode 36: Happy Penguin New Year [40:49m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (5941)

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Episode 35: Chock full of nutty goodness…and some fruit cake

Wednesday, December 20th, 2006

Sometimes even a holiday as sacred as Christmas can't stop The Transcontinental Penguin Super Show. This week we have for you honestly one of our most entertaining show to date. Plenty of news; let's dive right in. Oh the music, like Edward Norton and Brad Pitt singing "The Penis Song" for Fight Club, we also had a beautiful piano rendition of one of the most old school board games ever, Crossfire, toss in a few random 80s cartoon piece, i.e. M.A.S.K. and Voltron: Defender of the Universe, and we all be set. Google wants to not only rule the world, they want the whole galaxy, too, as they join forces with NASA. No longer is it necessary to wash your iPod before you use it or your Mac using Photoshop thanks to Apple and it's recent flood. At least it wasn't a giant pile of human feces like the old man that trapped himself in his bathroom. Myspace users that decide to commit crimes should not check their MySpace because they will get caught. Big shout out to Ryan C. Shrouder for hacking his school and changing 19 people's grades. GRATS! World's tallest man saves dolphin by fisting it's stomach. Thank you Maury Povich for exploiting people's fear with the new one to add, fear of peaches. And the winner of the academy award for worst parent goes to……….OMG, it's a tie between drugged out parents that let their baby daughter's toes get chewed off by a puppy and the mother than put her baby in the microwave. World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade Office Cinematic Trailer is officially here! Check it out and then read up on the real Leeroy Jenkins at his E3 interview. Notice the significant less Wii and PS3 content? That's because all the things we have been saying for eleventy billion years have come true and we don't feel the need to brag. Nintendo outsells Sony in November, but like President Bush, Sony believes they are winning. It turns out Nintendo is even making a profit on just the system alone as Sony is actually losing money per system. This, amongst other things, has helped the Wii to become the faster selling console of all time. And by the by, the Wiimote is totally here to stay! Allow WTF is Wrong With Japanese People to give you the Japanese Wii Saftey Manual. Trust us when we say these pictures look like exactly what they are. Enjoy the ending music? Click the link Almost Opposite

Crossfire Live

Star Wars Paraody

Kid Gets Lightsaber for Christmas, Lops Off Grandma's Torso

Edward Norton and Brad Pitt sing 'The Penis Song' for a Fight Club trailer

NASA Takes Google on Journey into Space

Apple Computer Building Floods After Water Leak…"100 Gallons per minute"

Man trapped by mountain made up of bags of his own feces, jars of…

Fugitive Caught After Checking His Myspace Page

Class President Arrested For Hacking - Changing Grades Of 19 Students

World's tallest man uses long arms to save China dolphins

Guy is Absolutely Terrified of Peaches

Puppy chews off infant girl's toes

Mom Who Microwaved Baby Arraigned

Gaming

WoW Burning Crusade Cinematic Trailer Officially Released

The real Leeroy Jenkins - Ben Schulz

Wii Outsells Sony for November…Sony resopnds.

One Wii costs Nintendo $158 to make

Wii is Fastest Selling Console - Ever!

THIS Wiimote is goin' nowhere

Japanese

The Japanese Wii Safety Manual is Crazy

Episode 35: Chock full of nutty goodness...and some fruit cake [67:56m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (5814)

Flash Video [2:26m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (416)

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Episode 34: As God is My Witness, I Thought Penguins Could Fly

Sunday, December 3rd, 2006

Another day, another Transcontinental Penguin Super Show. This week we learn and teach some very valuable lessons. For example, we learned how to not rob a convenience store; it is bad to kill your grandma and carry parts of her corpse in your luggage; turkeys definitely can not fly; and when being held at gun point by robbers simply morph into a power ranger and all will be well. With the passing of Thanksgiving, so passes one of the most busy shopping days of all year and Microsoft's hope to dethrone the iPod; Zune didn't do so hot Bill. Sony just continues to fail at making electronics for some reason has thousands of digital cameras have a defect in them. Please return these in the same box as your defective PS3 for easy shipping. And what oh what can be said about said console? We make an official public apology at this time seeing how it is unfortunately real and therefore not from unicorn land. However, good luck finding one. Sony is sold out, people get shot whilst waiting in line, bugged at 1 A.M. for being a retard, or are stupid stupid eBay sellers. All in a days work for the PS3 clientele. Nintendo of course has a new system out called the Revolution…..seriously, also good luck finding the Wii because it sold out fast, too. Only difference from Sony, expect more Wii soon. Our buddies at Blizzard are doing quite well as the biggest mmorpg ever prepares for it's giant expansion pack release. In the mean time, enjoy the new Office Space World of Warcraft commercial. FYI, it seems Peter seems to be a bigger noob than we all thought as he is playing an Alliance Female Human Mage and of course as we all know only 11 year olds play Alliance because Alliance is easier and for little girls. FOR THE HORDE!!! Please no emails about suicide as we will be forced to send you a canned message in return. So thirsty….need drink….need this week's WTF is Wrong With Japanese People. Save me Pepsiman save me!!! Finally on This Week in Hiro, it seems Hiro bent time and space so much that Mr. Sulu ended up being his father. Read all about George Takei's guest spot on the greatest show on television currently, Heroes, Mondays on NBC at 9 PM. Stayed tuned for some awesome Mike and Chris rambling; over very inspiration for this show's creation.

Stupid Shit

How NOT to rob a convenience store…

Man found carrying grandmother's head in suitcase

"As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly"

4-year-old in Power Ranger costume saves family from gun-toting robbers

Tech

Microsoft’s Zune Suffering Awful First Day Sales

Sony Finds Defect in Digital Cameras As Well !

Gaming

Banned WoW player thretens Blizzard with suicide

World of Warcraft scans players' Internet Explorer browsing history

World of Warcraft Office Space Commercial

US to get 150-200k Wiis per week

Wii North American Commercial Debut

Extend your Wii warranty for free

Wii-mote & Nun-chuk Shortages

4 year olds learn gaming habits from playing Nintendo Wii

Wii VC games leaked on the Net

Nintendo trying to bring Goldeneye 007 to the Wii

Wii Sensor Bar replacement…2 candles?

Wii uses about 1/10th of the power of 360

PS3 broken straight out of the box - Video

How NOT to sell your PS3 - via craigslist… at 1am… in a parking lot…

Boston Mayor Bills Sony after PS3 Riots Require Twelve Police Cruisers

Gamestop threataning to fire employees if they buy a PS3

Taco Bell wants your Playstation 3

Ridge Racer 7 Graphical Errors On Playstation 3

88,400 PS3s Sold in Japan in 2 Days

PS3 Launch Shooting in Conn.

PS3 for $0.99 on Ebay

Own this Playstation 3 and earn it!

Japanese

Pepsiman Japanese Commercial

This Week In Hiro

George Takei (Star Trek's Sulu) To Join NBC's "Heroes"

Episode 34: As God is My Witness, I Thought Penguins Could Fly [63:50m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (6210)

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Episode 33: More Powerful than 1.27 Gigawatts

Monday, November 13th, 2006

After a short hiatus, The Transcontinental Penguin Super Show returns fast as ever and now with the ability to travel through time. Yes, we are just that awesome….For those that are cave bound or simply do not have any of the information gathering senses, it is console time, bitches! The PS3 and Nintendo Wii are right next door and we've got dirt and likes pouring out the ass to prove it. Sony breaks into the top this week with their new PS3 TV ads. Other links include inside views of the SIXAXIS controller and the PS3 itself taken apart, 40 gaming titles for virtual console, to crazy mofos who have been waiting in line for three weeks. Keep in mind, this is not without it's hardships as Sony is indeed reporting Q2 losses as a result of PS3 and the laptop battery recall. Check out these and other links such as Japanese cannibalism, um that is, people purchasing the first PS3 units. On the flip side, Nintendo is still doing their Wiiness which has exploded into pop culture already. Two episodes of South Park have now been about the Wii. Other such news from Nintendo land includes more info about their virtual console, display kiosks in Japan, and information on a few new games including the new Zelda: Twilight Princess and Dragonball Z: Budokai Tenkaichi 2. More news have for you we do like the mono color of the Wii for what seems to be a while, SINGLE console codes, Number and Address Book, and others. Also, expect a revised version next year with a DVD player. In typical Penguin news fasion, we have our stack of wacky news such as M-80 up guy's ass, Bob Barker retiring from Price is Right VH1 Best Week Ever Top Ten Salute to things we will miss, oh yes, Spiderman 3 Fucking Trailer!!! Even this week's WTF is Wrong With Japanese People was packed full of chocolaty goodness and nuget. The French are bad bad people and how dare they hurt my little Japanese buddies with their rude behavior and rash environments. Robot thinks human flesh tastes like bacon and pretty soon worse if Japan doesn't STOP MAKING ROBOTS!!!! Asian Lady Run Over Multiple Times Video…..need we say more? And lastly, when you give birth in an alley way or the local Target, there's now an answer other than tossing that baby in the trash; you can place it in the speed baby give up window at a local hospital near you. Ok, so time circuits on, Flux capacitor fluxing, engine running, alright…………..

Gaming

Microsoft Correcting 'Live' Update That 'Bricked' 360 Consoles

Sony pimps new US PS3 TV advert

First PS3 US TV Ad - WTF!!!!

PS3 Solves Rubik's Cube; Makes It Explode

PS3's SIXAXIS goes under the knife

PS3 Opened For Pictures

PS3 launch marred by further shortages

Battery recall, PS3 push Sony to Q2 loss

Nearly 40 games confirmed for PS3 online download service

PS3 Warehouse Spy Shot

There are already people in line for PS3.

PS3 buyers turn to Craigslist to find line waiters

PS3 firmware update required out-of-box

Japanese PS3 Backward Compatibility Issues Online

Japanese Playstation 3 Launch Line Video 2

Best Buy offering Xbox 360's to PS3 customers?

Wii fever hits South Park

Virtual Console: Secrets exposed

Wii Kiosks In Japan

Wii Will have SINGLE Console Codes

Wii Number and Address Book uncovered

Dragon Ball Z: Budokai Tenkaichi 2 - Wii Game Feature

No Colors In Wii Horizon?

Nintendo Wii to feature DVD playback next year

Brand new Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess trailers!

Will Nintendo Wii Open Floodgates For Girlfriends?

Wii Won’t Rumble For N64 Virtual Console Games

Nintendo Wii Excite Truck Supports Custom Soundtracks

Nintendo Wii $250, Xbox 360 $100?!

Japanese

'Paris Syndrome' leaves tourists in shock

Robot Identifies Human Flesh as Bacon

Asian Lady Run Over Multiple Times Video

Hospital plans to set up baby hatch

Hospital plans to set up baby hatch - Possible Real Pic

The Web Is 16 Today

Is this the stupidest man alive?

Thug Tricked by David Copperfield

15-year-old Girl Starts Caucasian Club at her High School

Video: Man in 31-Wheel Roller Suit….achieves speeds of 60 MPH

The Top 10 Things We’ll Miss About Bob Barker

Police dress up as Batman and Robin to catch drugs suspect

Spiderman 3 Trailer

Episode 33: More Powerful than 1.27 Gigawatts [62:20m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (5691)

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Episode 32: Bienvendidos de la Transcontinental Penguin Super Show

Friday, October 27th, 2006

Coming at ya in that funny way only we could, The Transcontinental Penguin Super Show is indeed Firefox 2.0 compliant, get yours today! Feeling lonely or mischievous? You should grab the new Cloak of Partial Invisibility. We hear that is had 152 armor, 22 agility, 1% chance to hit, and 2% chance to crit. Other weird news includes having your favorite baseball team on your coffin when you die and mannequin man just can't get enough thanks to his weird ass fetish. Sony, Sony, Sony, what can we say? Is it possible it's not a joke and the PS3 exists? Well the release of the list of accessories and prices leads us to believe that. Also, the exceptionally long list of downloadable games will destroy your mind, caution whilst reading. Sony might not meet it's shipment numbers yet again. Thank god that I can take my PSP into the bathroom and have it stream off my PS3. Other tid bits of information include no Gamer Scores available and Sony to replace controllers when not working. Still don't believe us? Look at the pics of the PS3 unboxed or read the list of 24 things about the PS3 you need to know. In comparison, because that's what we do, the Wii and PS3 controllers go head to head. You be the judge as to which looks better, plays better, or is most comfortable. Meanwhile in Wii land, it is confirmed the online service is free. Also, Target starts game sales online which means, it's coming! Learn to poop because of this week's WTF is Wrong With Japanese People. What a freaky ass cartoon but cute little kid at the end, but damn why do that to him? BOOBIES!!! WATCH THE VIDEO!!! *WARNING* NEW SEGMENT!!! This week in Hiro we discuss the real like actor and his real life adventures. Apparently bending time isn't all he does; he also programs computers!!! YA-TE!!!! or however you spell that…

Tech

Firefox 2.0 Officially Released

Awesomeness

Scientists Create Cloak of Partial Invisibility

Stupid Shit

Coffins to Bear Logos of Baseball Team

Man with mannequin fetish arrested again

Gaming

PS3 accessories, Blu-ray bundle revealed

PS3 Downloadable Games List

Sony May Revise PS3 Shipment Numbers

PSP and PS3 Play Together

Sony to replace PS3 controllers

No "Gamer Scores" for PS3

PS3 Unboxed

The PlayStation 3: 24 things you need to know

New video pits Wii Remote against PS3 Sixaxis controller

Rumor: Toys R Us To Begin Wii Pre-Orders On The 29th?

Wii Online Confirmed Free

Target starts Wii game sales online

This Week In Hiro

"Heroes" Hiro is a REAL Coding Hero!

Japanese Toilet Training Cartoon: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (344)

Japanese Boobkini: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (377)

Episode 32: Bienvendidos de la Transcontinental Penguin Super Show [53:19m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (5860)

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Episode 31: And They Say That A Penguin Can Save Us…..

Friday, October 20th, 2006

Be careful folks, the penguins have learned how to pinch in this episode of the Transcontinental Penguin Super Show. Ah, random weird commercials are a nice way to kick off a show that, of course, has great news for Sony. IGN got hold of their new controller, the SIXAXIS, and really didn't like it at all. Rumors about the Wii continue to flurish especially on the topic of kiosks for demo purpose. So it seems they may be monitored. A new demo video shows that yes even the Wii can freeze; however, we here are pretty sure the loud noise is not the system but rather the locked up game stuck on a sound. We warned you and you had your chance, but all pre-orders sold out in the very first day last week. Fear not though, because with the awesomeness pending in the form of your Startup disc and the other Wii contents, you will all be saved. Or, if you're feeling down, listen to the way those poor bastards in Japan say "Nintendo Wii" on the demo commercial. Big shout out to Microsoft for introducing feature in Vista that's already existed for years called sleep/suspend mode….SHOUT OUT! Since finding a genie in a beer bottle isn't possible, simply buy the PersonalSoundtrack computer so you can be just like Peter Griffin. Also, very great concept and environmentally awesome to Plextor and their shot at CD/DVD data destruction. Check out their new drive that will no doubt cause panic and mayhem in an office near you soon. Lighting!! It's fiery and hot!! Especially when it hits your mini van. You'd think the FBI would have a few more than 1% of it's force that could speak Arabic but apparently they are too busy watching Goofy and Mini Mouse porn. Chi Chi Chip and Dale, getting felt up…… The new concepts are in and the motorbike of the future slams into us all in this WTF is Wrong With Japanese People. Mr. Hiro Nakamaru shows us and the rest of the world the typical Japanese stereotype that exists. Now please don't take this the wrong way, it is simply a funny reference as we here at TTCPSS ADORE Heroes on NBC. Please please go out and watch Heroes or you will make baby Jesus cry!

No Pinch

Gaming

SIXAXIS Is Worst Next Gen Controller

Wii demo kiosks to be under supervision?

Wii Freeze Too

Wii pre-orders sell out in day one

Wii Contents

New Japanese Wii Ad Has Non-Boring Hand Action (English Translation from video:"Nintendo's Wii")

Tech

Vista PCs will nod off to save power

PersonalSoundtrack

New Plextor drive "obliterates" data on CDs/DVDs with laser blasts..

Stupid Shit

Video of Lightening Striking a Minivan

FBI Agents Still Lacking Arabic Skills

Disney says "non" to Mouse orgy And the Video

Japanese

Japanese Motorbike

Hiro Nakamura

Heroes

Episode 31: And They Say That A Penguin Can Save Us..... [36:45m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (6324)

No Pinch: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (335)

Japanese Motorbike: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (390)

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Episode 28: Because They’re Made Of Metal and Robots Are Strong

Sunday, October 1st, 2006

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and children of all ages!!! Welcome to the greatest show on the Internet, The Transcontinental Penguin Super Show! I expect all old people by the end of listening to have applied for their Old Glory Robot Insurance because, face it, the metals ones are coming. If you aren't killed by robots, perhaps you will be burned alive by the continuing laptop battery problems facing us these day's. If not, then we will forcibly tattoo it into your forehead like "Katie's Revenge." Poor Terri Irwin was so distraught about losing the Croc Hunter and her recent E-mail Scam Identity Exploit problem, that she decided to take revenge on all sting rays!! Help her destroy the stinged ones by clicking the link! Proceeds will all be spent on buying Screech, Dustin Diamond's, new sex tape. Remember teenage girls everywhere that whilst on your myspace being whores to register to vote with the new plan. Piraters of DVDs beware, the K9 Crew is out to get you. Microsoft's Zune releases info on price and song quantity while the Ipod continues to dominate the market. One of the most awesome links in the world with the interview of Peter Cullen a.k.a. Optimus Prime. In Nintendo/Sony warfare news, Nintendo will have 1 million Wii available to Sony's 300,000 PS3. Nintendo has also released that the Wii will have the Play History function, box art for the games released, and the Message Board System. Also, the Opera browser will be free, but only for a short time. If you are curious as to cost, you the calculator site and start saving now. Lastly, just because, have a look at the inside's of the Nunchuk because you can. Sony and it's one news story as always screws you again by turning previous series system game play into a pay for download service and gives only Japan a price break. Seriously Sony, it's getting old…..The new Mortal Kombat Armageddon trailer is sick and the Civilization 4 spoof video is hilarious. And yet another lawsuit take blame away from fucking parents that don't do their fucking jobs as parents and blame their warped kids minds on video games. Good luck with that fucktardsR